Roswell Aliens Not So Alien

Nearly 70 years after extraterrestrials supposedly pushed the wrong button in their spacecraft and nose-dived into scrubby ranchland near Roswell, New Mexico, that town is again in the news.

This time the headlines are centered on the discovery of an old Kodachrome slide showing a small, atrophied body laid out in a display case. It seems that the slide was found two dozen years ago in the house of a deceased Arizona couple, although its true provenance is sketchy. Recently, a handful of UFO researchers has decided that this old photo actually depicts an alien corpse, and possibly a victim of the 1947 crash that put Roswell on the public’s mental map.

That would be important, if true.

And the researchers claimed it was true. They scheduled a large public event in Mexico City on May 5 to debut the slide, calling it the “smoking gun” that would finally prove that aliens are visiting Earth. Six thousand people were intrigued enough to fork over $200 each to attend.

But you should be glad that you weren’t among them. Just one look at this lugubrious photo should trip your baloney detector. The body looks human.

Mind you, the fleshy parts are pretty mummified, but the skeleton is familiar, with a skull on top, an extensive rib cage comprising the upper body, four articulated appendages that look like arms and legs, and … Well, it could be a shrunken and shriveled version of your cousin Vinny.

So why’s that so suspicious? After all, nine out of ten movie aliens are vaguely humanoid.

Yes, and six out of ten movie aliens are also blessed with gallons of mucous. You might infer that’s because most habitable planets are really dry. You might more realistically infer that snotty aliens —> Read More